I went for a walk today
I continued walking and just letting myself feel.
I thought about myself. About one year ago or even six or seven months ago, I would not have let myself feel. Not like this anyways. Not without fearing how I felt, not accepting it, acknowledging it and recognizing the power it had over me. I could see the work I put in and the growth that had occurred. Each new step was full of confidence and pride, supported by all of my accomplishments and hard work.
As I was looping back around to the house, a sense of calm and happiness come over me. It suddenly hit me, this is what my recovery looks like. I had taken the time to go on a walk alone, just because I wanted to. I did not suppress any of my emotions and I let myself feel. More importantly, I did not feel bad for how I felt or try to explain away any of the feelings. I looked at the past with perspective, acknowledged current fears, and looked to the future with anticipation and excitement. I am becoming more comfortable with myself each and every day.
By Catherine Perkins